Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Randomize
