Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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