Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
