Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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