At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
