Where is the hickey?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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