Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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