I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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