i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So vagazzling was a success
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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