I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
