I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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