I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
