Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
