I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
It's official drugs can't kill me
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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