I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
