ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
