I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
