Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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