you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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