Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize