But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
