We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Randomize
