when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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