My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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