i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
