I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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