i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize