stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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