haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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