Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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