what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
