I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
