I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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