idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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