apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
