Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
