Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
