He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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