And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
