I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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