So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize