Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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