I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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