so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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