she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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