He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
