just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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