dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
