you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
