I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
