piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
