I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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