You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'd cum for enchiladas.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
