He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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