Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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