He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
