Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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