I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It's blow job season.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
