If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
