1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
My friends, they love my intelligence
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
